Am I still sad?

So on my birthday, a family member who will remain nameless because I love them so much and do not wish to draw attention specifically to them, wished me a happy birthday and asked me how I was doing. I gave my standard/canned, "alright, trying to move forward and be positive" to which they replied, "oh, so you're still feeling sad?" ::head desk::

I almost had to laugh. I found it that funny... really. What would someone expect me to say? "No, actually, I'm ecstatic! I just found out that I lost my third pregnancy, and that the baby was completely normal and healthy and that it is most likely something to do with me! I'm just giddy over this news!"

Yes, I am still sad. My most recent d&c was only three weeks ago. I still have pregnancy hormones in my system thanks to the pleasant reminder of the faint positive hpts I am still getting... and no, I am not peeing on pregnancy tests bc I am hoping to some how magically be pregnant still. My doctor suggested doing it once a week to track down my hcg levels until I get a negative so that I know when I will start to ovulate again, but I digress. My point was that yes, I am still sad. Of course, I am still sad. I think a part of me will always be sad. I know it will become a smaller part as time moves forward. But time only moves so fast. Yes, I imagine that six months from now I will be a stronger, emotionally healthy person, but that doesn't happen overnight. I have to wake up each morning for roughly the next 180 days to get to that imaginary point six months from now where hopefully I will be a little less sad.

I have a pandora charm bracelet that my mom got me after my first loss. She got a little charm with a sapphire to represent the birthmonth of the baby we expected to welcome next month. I treasure it because it reminds me that even though this baby only existed for 11 weeks, it was so loved and so wanted. Over the course of the last several months, the bracelet has since taken on even more significance as we sadly added additional charms for the losses of our sweet babies. But for my birthday, my mom got me a little clock charm. She told that it represented time, and that time is what would be the thing to make things better. I know she's right.