Meet Phillips, our 5w3d yolk sac and fetal pole. We named this little guy Phillips because the ultrasound machine is the Phillips brand and the logo was in the upper, left corner of the screen, next to my name. We had our second ultrasound with the RE on Monday to make sure that everything was "in the right place" as Dr. G so eloquently put it. I guess he was a tiny bit concerned after my last appointment last Thursday when we only barely saw what looked to be the very beginnings of a sac. I guess he was surprised that my betas came back at 2,263 and felt we should have seen a little more, but all seemed to work out well. I am measuring a day ahead based on ovulation so that makes me happy. I go back next Monday for another ultrasound and hopefully will see a little heartbeat.
I feel sad that I am not excited yet. I don't really get any peace of mind from these early ultrasounds or properly rising betas. With the exception of my second miscarriage, a chemical pregnancy, both of my late first trimester losses included good betas and strong little flickering heartbeats when we checked at 7 weeks both times. I guess I just expect everything to look "perfect" up until 10-11 weeks because it always has before; but I know I will be a nervous wreck and basketcase as we get closer to my loss milestones. I hope that if we get further with this little guy that I will become more excited and allow myself to get attached and maybe even dream a little of the possibilies of a take home baby.
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